Impossible Equation?

I am having difficulty solving the following problem:

B.A. in Philosophy + Certification in Professional Ethics + Master of Science in Technology = ? ? ?


Where do I go from here?

I think it would be cool to test new electronics, toys, computers, cars, applications...anything! Then, publish reviews or testings results.

Anyone need a Technology Tester?

A Day in the Mind of Me

I am conflicted; yet do not know if my confliction is justified. Then why do I feel the way I do?

I know I have made errors and will continue to do so, but to err is human.

When I think of the problem in my life, I realize that the problems I face are wonderful problems.

Let me begin:

I have nearly been kicked out of school program and lost my job, twice. But, it is only because I have made it as far as I have, academically, that I have been able to err in this way. Working towards a Masters degree is a blessing not a curse!

I was two weeks late in sending close friend a gift for their Bat Mitzvah. But, it is only because I have made such wonderful friends in the Jewish community that I am able to err in this way. The friends I have are blessings not curses!

I upset colleagues, friends and room mates around me on a daily/weekly basis. But, it is only because I am lucky enough to have such people in my life. These people are all blessings not curses!

I have the most amazing girlfriend, who is more that 7,100 miles away from me, that I am unable to see or touch whenever I want. But, it is only because I went to the best Jew-camp in Texas (Greene Family Camp) that I was able to meet her. She is a blessing not a curse!

I have parents who I love that have, questionably, terminal illnesses. But, it is only because I have the loving parents I do. My parents are blessings not curses!

Computers that won’t compute, toys that are no fun, tools that break, clothing that wears, cars that cost money, houses which require upkeep…all of these things are the “extras” in life and are not needed. However, they are apart of my world and make up who I have become. Why are these “extras” so weighed down with unforeseen problems?

I know that there is no one else who is responsible for my actions. This being said, why do I find myself in these positions? Why do I turn these blessings into curses? Why have I not yet learned from my mistakes? Or have I? Is this why I am able to recognize the errors of my ways? Perhaps.

I would love nothing more that to do everything in my power to remedy these situations and to prevent them from ever happening again. Am I capable of doing such? Or, will I always make mistakes I will regret? If I am to make mistakes for the rest of my life that I will regret, how may I better live with myself? How may I better understand my own actions? Are there underlying motivations to my ways that even I have not yet discovered? If so, are they for good or bad?

If only someone could answer these questions for me!

I am willing to recognize that it is only I who is capable of answering these questions for me. But when, Ted, when will you answer (for) yourself?

I am such a fortunate individual to find myself in this situation. I would not take back any moment of my life; ever. I want to continue living the life I have been granted. I do not want to stop living for the life I have ahead of myself. I do not know will happen next, and that frightens and excites me, equally, and at the same time.

I strive to be different, just as everyone does. I want to be great, and feel in some ways I already am. I want to change the world, and I know that through my existence I already have. But why? Why is life so hard?

I have been told by people wiser that me that, “The great things in life don’t come cheap.” Perhaps this “cost” they were referring to is confusion, misery, mystery or unanswerable questions. Oh, what torment!

Through all of my conflicts, justified or not, I have found only one universal truth; by exploring my own personal needs, desires and fears I am able to feel better about myself. I am able reflect upon my own life, learn from the world around me and grow into a more effective human being and enjoy every last bit of it.

Regardless of everything; I am myself and nothing can take that from me.

This is a fact.

This is what I live for.

This is what I love.

This is life.

Missed Time

205 days have gone by since my last post.

Now, I sit on my younger brother's futon in Lawrence, KS while on break between semesters.

I have so much to say; so much to explain.

I have a girlfriend.

I nearly lost my job.

I live in a new house.

I care for a centipede.

All these stories, and more, shall be explained in the next installment* of:

The Road to Smart



* I promise it will be sooner than the last!

Nice Shirt, Nice Pants and an Office; What Happened to Me?

I have just finished my first week as a graduate student; and I am still alive.

In addition, I have just finished my first week as a graduate assistant; yes, I am now a teacher.

My life is changing and it is for the better. However, had you asked me 5 years ago if I would be waking up at 6am to put on some nice clothes, leave the house by 6:45 so that I make to my 8am Architectural Design class only to help teach, I would have said, "No."

But, I must say I do enjoy it. I have an office on the forth floor of Texas State's new R.F. Mitte Technology building overlooking all of campus and eastern San Marcos. I am even on salary! All of which, is new to me.

Aside from the graduate assistant ship, graduate classes pose a new challenge in life, too. This semester I am enrolled in the following:

Data Acquisition and Analysis
Semiconductor Manufacturing Technology
Environmental Ethics

All three of the courses I find very intriguing (even the data analysis class, for some reason). The semiconductor class has to be the coolest, though, only because I will fabricate my own processor chip by the end of the semester. Not to say that Env Ethics and Data Analysis won't be fun, because they will, but getting to design and build my own processor sounds so much more fascinating!

As for now, I must enjoy my weekend.